No I Will Not Mention Your Dick Pics

Tonight’s gig was at a nice Italian restaurant where I’m used to seeing kids with crayons, old couples slurping linguine, etc. — but this time two middle-aged women sat with their backs to me and spent at least a full minute discussing the dick pic pulled up on one of their phones. I’m talking a serious dick pic too, full-frontal with no face but with everything else: shoulders, chest, legs, and especially dick. I’ve dealt with plenty of awkward moments in my life but pretending you didn’t just see a strange penis on someone’s phone when they come up to request a song takes a whole new level of personal strength.