No I Will Not Say “Beef Curtains” Into The Microphone

Supremely satisfying moment: Near the end of tonight’s gig a group in the crowd started submitting requests under obnoxious names like “Dickworm” and “Beef Curtains” hoping that I’d read them into the microphone for their amusement, which I didn’t find all that amusing. I was playing one of their requests (Britney Spears’ “Toxic”) when fellow pianist Alex Thompson tapped me on the shoulder - he was passing through and wanted to stop by and say hello.
“Feel like playing the rest of this song for me?” I asked slyly.
“Sure,” he said.
I stood up and kept the rhythm going with one hand; he took my seat at the piano and started playing and singing the second verse of “Toxic” without a single hiccup in the song.
I looked around to see who had noticed our switcheroo and I realized the group was still talking and laughing amongst themselves; as far as they were concerned that was still me at the piano. I walked over and sat next to them as stealthily as possible while their request continued in the background. I waited until they noticed me to say, “Hi, I’m Gabriel. So which of you is Dickworm?”